Baby it's cold oustide

Modern Family ;-)

Oh what a different world we are in! Twins and snow! Twice the fun! Normal is not a word we use... it just doesn't make sense anymore! Obviously!

We are having good times, still cramped apartment but we're making it. More houses come on market daily so hopefully when snow stops some we'll have more options. As for now we are counting days (8 until we are on Texas soil, 9 until we set sail) before our Disney Cruise! We have sooo many outfits! Thanks Mimi!! And warm weather.... wow... our reality now is a little more like this..

I think we like sledding more than twins... and last is a pic from walking the dogs at night. Oh please warm weather!!!

YaYa did come see us, that was fun...

Newest things with the twins, insurance finally listened and approved the shots they needed for March. They are all over the place! Both want to walk so bad and try to stand up often. They can find a remote or cell phone like nobody's business. Both say Mama, Dada, Yaya, up, dog and the new favorite is bye bye and waving. Paige especially. I don't know where she's going, but she's always going bye bye. Plus they chew on everything... like puppies! Irony?

Ella gives the best stink face... and they unpack the cabinets daily

Chris' new workout regime...

And this is awful, but after she fell I had to take a pic first lol

They very much have their own language and plot against us. Cute little stinkers! Here's some random videos for all the friends and family that keep asking!

Yes, I know they're naked, but geez too cute!

For Ella

Will she know...
 - that someday the cry it out moments were harder for mommy than her? I know she needs to self soothe and she will in a matter of minutes. But those minutes when she cries are hard for her momma to take. I thought they were asleep, all suited up in snow gear to take the dogs out, hopefully quickly, and she's upset. I'm waiting, watching the monitor, I won't go out til I'm sure she's asleep. I went in twice but it wakes up her sis and then two are crying... Still breaks my heart to hear her cry

I hate apartment life at the moment. Depressing post.. did not bid on house today.. to much after it all came down to the wire. Fighting with insurance over meds once again... again!  But tomorrow is another day and I'm counting blessings.... good thing since I have to deal with multiple drs and insurance companies again tomorrow!

She's out as I write... so lets hope I don't bust my butt on the ice walking the dogs lol

Happy Un Birthday

I look at the calendar and realize two things about this day... one, it's the twins unbirthday.. the 14.5 months olds I have were due today. Valentine's turned into Turkeys.
Second, this is the day one year ago that we had dr appt and Ella got put on home oxygen. We had been home such a short time!

Pedi appt that was slightly rushed because we had pulmonologist next... as soon as we got there and the nurse took Ella's oxygen levels I knew. You don't spend that long in NICU and not know what the numbers mean. Luck was on our side, slightly, pedi said if they had checked they would have had to call ambulance and get her straight to hospital, pul dr could authorize home oxygen.

I will never forget that defeated feeling... I just cried all the way to the office where we had to get oxygen stuff. Dr said she needed asap and it would take too long to get stuff delivered... so began another months long journey.

I messaged a friend, Bonnie, who'd been through this, it helped but the fact that my beautiful baby, on a day we should celebrate, was being put back on oxygen. OOOh it was hard! I cried for hours.

We finally made all the arrangement's and what was supposed to be a two hour trip turned into over 8. She didn't need much O's so could only use a short cord and the machine was massive and it only had a short cord. Plus they wanted her on monitor 24/7 that wouldn't stay on and constantly went off. A few calls from upset momma later... monitor was spot check only, extension cord on oxy machine and Chris hooked up a tow strap. Yes we are Texas!

No sleep that night but thankfully my mom came to rescue me and help out next day. A day I never want to relive, even though we did eventually adjust, our fantastic nanny Brooke didn't quit on us, and my cousin Lori liked that horrible machine bc it was warm and the noise made her sleep better.

But I write this as the twins are covering themselves in pasta and meatballs, they love! Ella has a scabby nose and Paige has what might turn into black eye because they are ALL OVER the place. Dr. asked what they might have fallen on to get bumps and I asked how long a list you want? They are happy, and full of life!  And life is good! I'm tempted to let them have Girl Scout cookies to celebrate... but then I'd have to share, so probably not. lol

74 Days

Day 74, February 6, 2012 our NICU stay was OVER! Ella was coming home! Another looong exhausting day. I had been informed by multiple nurses that after a certain amount of time off oxygen she could come home, which happened to be that Monday. I had called the nurse to check in, she was still good! Her sats were staying high! So I said lets get her home! I was ready! Plus over the weekend stupid Obamacare (not to be political) had opened up the NICU exposing her to more germs, people and no privacy. I was not having that! Even the nurses had told me to get her out!

So fast forward and I get there to start what turned out to be a long process because she had to have all her meds filled and apparently her dr wasn't planning for her to leave until the next day and nothing was called in. And then the pharmacy tells us it will take until late evening to get everything filled and they were completely out of one med, they'd have to order it. I was already so frustrated with the discharge procedure... one Dr. Evil, I won't name her came up to me out of the blue, having never spoken to me before and "demanded to know who told me after a certain amount of time she could leave? That I was forcing my dr to come in on his day off to do this discharge and I was being too demanding and I just BETTER appreciate this." to this day it's a good thing I haven't seen her again. My dr didn't seem to have a problem with it. Grrrr!

Thankfully one our favorite nurses was able to step in and help us out with the meds, and we were able to get everything we needed. My Grannie and Papa were there, having finally met Paige and dying to meet Ella. Since the process was going to be a long one we did go to the NICU early so Papa could meet her before he left. Chris went to get meds and then we went through the long discharge process of setting up appointments and making sure we knew all the med details... her instruction manual was bigger than Paige's. Who, by the way, was at home being completely spoiled by my mom and Grannie.
Finally, finally, finally...

Ella was out!
We walked in the door at home and mom and Grannie said hi and went to dinner giving us family time JUST US for the first time ever!

I think I cried all day! After 74 days of the NICU and the weeks and months before I finally had my family together! If only I had known what was coming a week later... but that's another blog. These were some of the first days reunited...

I missed you sissy!

I LOVE my twin!

From here...  days before she took off the O's and came home

To here....

One year old and life is good! We love you Ella!

 

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71 Days

A year ago exactly today was Paige day. After 71 days in the NICU she was released! It was again one of the happiest and scariest days in our lives. Oh and exhausting! We were so excited to having her come home, she even came with an instruction manual! (The very thick file the NICU gives you concerning all her meds and new drs , therapists and what we needed to do) This was after a pretty much sleepless night "rooming in".

Rooming in is where the parents stay the night in the hospital with the baby off all her monitors in ready to go home conditions, almost like parents of term babies! Except there were no rooms available and we had to stay in the closet they called a room at the front of the NICU. There was a twin bed, and a recliner that you had to decide, either recline, or put your feet up. Not room for both.

Since this was the twin with soooo many episodes that caused her heart to stop, and that bed was tiny, Chris and I took shift alternately sleeping and watching to make sure she was still breathing. That awful bathroom light wouldn't stay on, you had to move the door to keep it on. The awake parent watched movies on the Ipad and kept an eye one her. Turns out she's a very noisy sleeper! It was even harder knowing Ella was just yard away, but this was Paige's night. We were sooo worn out by that morning and then had to go through discharge, not a short process. Finally, elated we left the hospital with Paige that afternoon. It was so hot she couldn't even wear the coat that went with the outfit her dad picked out.

Once we got home Chris and I looked at each other like, what do we do? There are no doctors or nurses to tell us! The hospital did not send her home on a monitor but I was terrified of her not being on one. A friend had given us one that clipped to her diaper but she was to tiny! Poor Chris, he was up late that night again installing the Angel Care monitor in her bed that would alert if she stopped breathing. My mom had gone back to the hospital to be with Ella for a little while and got home in the middle of this excitement.

In the middle of the night it did alert, I thought she was choking but after a call to nurse Kimber, we found out it was normal and back to bed we went. For a little while anyway.

Now that tiny little girl is happy, healthy and LOUD! She was once called the "screecher" and can still yell mama and dad the loudest across any space! She's even almost walking! So Happy 1 Year of being home to my beautiful little girl. I love you Paige!

 Rooming in

Checking out!

Paige in her new crib!

And now.....

Eating & Playing

Seems like that's all we do! Especially since it's so cold out and none of us are used to the weather! It rained the other day and the snow melted off the roof and fell, sounding like a huge crash. Scared all of us!

Paige loves bananas... won't let me cut them up anymore. Our once toothless wonder is proud of her four teeth!! Her favorite things are juice, they are both juice monsters, bananas, and carrots. I swear the girls is going to turn orange!!! She is totally mad about carrots! But at times eating is a lot of work!

And sometimes it's just plain fun!

 Ella is our messy one. She needs to be hosed down after every meal! As you can see, sometimes she doesn't even use her hands. She also does this with the dog's bowl if we forget to pick them up. Awesome!

The dogs seem to be really enjoying this stage of eating with our hands, and throwing food on the floor.

One of the twins favorite games is peek-a boo.

 

 And my animal lover likes wrestling her Detroit Tiger. Paige got in on the action this time.

 Overall we are starting to adjust and meet people, it's just very cold and we are sick of this tiny apartment and not knowing where anything is. Right now we are actively looking for a house, guess what we're doing all day tomorrow... fingers crossed! It's so different here... furnaces, basements, subpumps..not even close to language we used back home!

The twins are growing like crazy, they say mama and dada, and up. Working on dog, they can get the do part out. They love reading! And they tear apart the bookshelf daily. No on is walking yet but they are superstars crawlers and have started using furniture and toys and whatever they can to "walk" across the room. They get around! And they for sure have their own language, we are sooo out numbered!